Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Dose of Humor: 21st Century Philosophy

21st Century Philosophy...I totally agree.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument, when you realize
YOU'RE the one that's wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to neatly fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make for good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day.

12. Can we all just make a pact right now, to IGNORE whatever comes out after Blu Ray? I don't
want to have to re buy my collection... Yet again.

13. I'm always somewhat terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save the changes to my twenty page research paper, that I swear I did
not make ANY changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever

15. I hate when I just miss a call on the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!)
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail
What'd you do after I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away? Or is this Caller-ID payback?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well..

20. I have to disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with a couple of Coors Lites than Kay.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

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